Hardship

It's been almost three years I haven't been able to see one of my family members since I shattered the relationships between my stepsister and my nephew.  I longed to have the relationship back and I don't know if I ever able to get it back.  I know I have done wrong and I took the blame in this situation.  The more I thought about it how it related to my behaviors that linked to my depression that I lashed it out the wrong way between them.  Right now my stepsister doesn't trust me anymore, but how can I get the trust back?  How can I able have relationship back with my nephew who I dearly love him so much and don't mean to hurt him?  I cannot able to change the time back, what done is done.  I knew in my heart they have forgiven me but they won't forget what happened.  Will they let me have another chance even I been given so many chances?  I really need some my family members back in order to support me thru all of this illness I am going thru.  It's the hardest thing I ever faced to lose someone I loved and doesn't want me around anymore.  I wanted to able to start over and have a new beginning between three of us and don't know when it will be.