Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was the hardest time for me.  I've been feeling really out of balance, dizzy, headaches but same time I did the cooking for our feast.  It's hard to get thru it but I made it.  I tried the best I could and my husband thanked me for making a wonderful meal and even thou he was sleeping most the day due to working night shifts.  I really missed my family and everyone is either live out of town, out of state, or don't want to have any contact.  Same time I totally feel like no one wants me around because of this disease that caused me have no social life and that I have anxiety issues. 

But the most important thing is that I have wonderful online support group friends who really does understand this disease and we give each other some encouragements to get thru each day.  I also have another blog and it will be mostly same journal.  I am hoping that someone out there who have this disease and able to have hope and to have a cure of this someday as it being research.

I am working on trying to be on low sodium diet and hope this might help lessen my attacks.  I am trying few things and hope this will work for me.  So far for this Thanksgiving meal, I did watch my sodium intake but same time the weather does affect this disease.  It's sucks but just have to live with it.   I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

2010 Meniere’s Poetry from Meniere’s Resources, Inc

 

“Meniere’s has stolen a lot from me
You take for granted your activities are free
Free from worry, free from stress
This disease has made my life a mess.
But in the chaos I still exist
My thoughts and dreams creeping into the mist
There will come a time when I will be well”
Taken from a poem by J.Heck
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“I used to remember how to trek places
I’ve traveled a thousand times before.
I reminisce of the music I once played on the piano
But grieve that I cannot ever hear my grandson’s sweet voice.
But now I am physically and emotionally bankrupt working to stay upright
Because this is what living with Meniere’s Disease is like.”
Taken from a poem written by S.Mason
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“Overwhelmed, but not one to be overtaken
I believe in my strengths to attain life’s goal
Each day a new sun rises upon the horizon
Igniting and infusing my once somber soul”
Taken from A Once Somber Soul, Written by R. Kostiuk
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Wife Has Meniere’s
Spins, Falls, Vomits
Unbelievable, Incensed, Frustrated, Accepting
Donis
Written by B. Cook
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“The Beast.
It lurks within us.
Watches our every move.
How we live,
what we eat, drink, smell,
Inhale.
the way we feel,
react.
It plays with our emotions.”
Taken from The Beast, Written by M. Johnson

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Fullness builds
Head caught in a vise
Tinnitus roars
No blocking it out
Vertigo spins
Hold onto the floor
Hearing departs
Lonely silence invades
Episodic reprieve
Relief in sight….
Episodes
Written by L. Weber
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“In the blink of an eye, I started falling
But that’s what happens when Meniere’s comes a calling
Six foot one, with muscles like steel
But no-one can see, how horrible I feel
He looks fine, so he must be, isn’t that what they say
In my shoes they should walk, for one friggen day”
Taken from Drops, Written by K. Clawson
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Spin around the roomsie
try not to go oopsie
spinning, spinning
we all fall down.
Written by DL Bach
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I don’t know how I feel about having this disease
At times it leaves me breathless and falling to my knees
The morning brings such sorrow as I try and leave my bed
As spinning, heaving, follows, as noises hurt my head
I try to smile and fake it telling everyone I’m fine
But if you could see inside me, I’m anything but sublime
...anything but sublime Written by Aladdin
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“I have a new group of friends
I met them on the ‘net’
We never hear each others voice
But they are the best one’s yet.
They are others who are just like me
Who’s lives have changed like mine.
Together we discuss this and that,
And we are doing fine.
We give each other our support
And try to help each other out.
And try to make a difference
In a world that shuts us out.”
Taken from An Ode to Meniere's Disease Written by J. White
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It is a feeling of being in a fog trying to make my way at times to my room, any room and feeling relived to be there. Musical instruments that make various beautiful sounds that create lovely songs can be for me at times very engulfing to my ears. I feel like I am in the middle of the players and want to shout “Stop playing”! I hear all sounds, various sounds in my ears every day, all the time.


Many, many years ago, I enjoyed going to the amusement park, even when my children were grown, I enjoyed the merry-go-round and the Ferris wheel, the excitement and the feeling of the ride, going round and round, no more rides, those days are gone, the feeling is just like those amusement rides in my head when I do get vertigo, it is a horrible feeling!


As I walk, I am sure many times, people have looked at me thinking that I have had too much to drink, because as I am walking, I veer to the left or right because Meniere’s affects my balance. So, I am careful.


My life has changed because of this disease. I never know from one day to the next what will happen, however I do not dwell on what if’s. I choose what I can do and can’t. It hasn’t affected my love for my family or friendships, and life. It is a journey for me, I am enjoying my journey of life as best I can, however, I dislike intensely having this disease, but, hope, faith, courage, and my inner strength is within me to deal with this every day of my life.


What Living With Meniere’s Disease Is Like
Written by Ruth Coole,
Winner of the 2010
Meniere’s Resources, Inc.
Poetry Contest
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“Having Meniere’s Disease is like dressing up in a costume for Halloween…..
The real me is hidden behind the Meniere’s diagnosis……
Having Meniere’s Disease is like reaching for a glass of water to quench your thirst and then finding
that glass empty….. you are always looking for relief….
Having Meniere’s Disease is ….something I have….
But I still won’t let it have me….”
Taken From Having Meniere’s Disease is Like
Written by R. Gibbs
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“I try to take a positive attitude, add a sense of humor, and hang on for the Meniere’s ride
After years of agony and tears,
I now have learned to embrace my wandering gypsy soul side
I strive to minimize stress, eat healthy (low Salt), find peace, and let God be my guide
Meniere’s may have changed my life … but it will NEVER cause my passion, love and care for others to hide”
Taken from Meniere’s…
Written by Donis

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Personal Struggle

Since the last couple weeks, I have been struggling with this MD and I feel so overwhelmed with the stress and off balance.  I really hate this disease and it really wreck my life.  Sometimes I felt I just wanna die but I put my thoughts into something else to get myself distracted.  I have been doing knitting and crocheting since it now my new hobbies and I enjoyed making things that I am proud of and not to think the negative thoughts.

The weather been going crazy lately, it really affect me daily like roller-coaster.  One day I have good day and then next day bam I got bad day!!  Some of the nights I couldn’t sleep with all those noises in my head and it really drives me insane!!  I wish my husband can understand what it really like what I am going thru daily and it not “all in my head” type of things.  I still seeing my therapist of how I been dealing with all this.

Last week Sunday was worst attack ever, I went to church and then all sudden I got so dizzy and nausea.  I had to find a safe place and found a room has a couch and I slept for 2 hours to let the attack pass.  I felt so bad for unable to be with my husband during Sunday School class and help him cook lunch for after church service.  It’s hard to deal with it day to day for unknowing what gonna happen next.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Living With Meniere’s Disease Is Like..

Living With Meniere's Disease Is Like...

“It is a feeling of being in a fog trying to make my way at times to my room, any room and feeling relieved to be there. Musical instruments that make various beautiful sounds that create lovely songs can be for me at times very engulfing to my ears. I feel like I am in the middle of the players and want to shout, "Stop playing"! I hear all sounds, various sounds in my ears every day, all the time.

Many, many years ago, I en-joyed going to the amusement park even when my children were grown, I enjoyed the merry-go-round and the Ferris wheel, the excitement and feeling of the ride, going round and round, no more rides, those days are gone, the feeling is just like those amusement rides in my head when I do get vertigo, it is horrific feeling!

As I walk, I'm sure many times, people have looked at me thinking that I have had too much to drink, because as I am walking, I veer a little to the left or right because Meniere's affects my balance. So, I am careful.

My life has changed because of this disease. I never know from
one day to the next what will happen, however, I do not dwell on what ifs. I choose what I can do and can't. It hasn't affected my love for my family or friend-ships, and life. It is a journey for me, I am enjoying my journey of life as best I can, however, I dislike intensely having this disease, but, hope, faith, courage, and inner strength is within me to deal with this every day of my life.”

Ruth Coole