From Music to the Sound of Hell by Edeltraut L. Scheffler-Plath

From Music to the Sound of Hell

Once--my voice rang out with joyful glee,
Others used to sing with me.
Once--I played accordion, mouth organ, and mandolin;
I even played the organ, and the violin.
My ears were very sensitive:
To them it was offensive--
To be subjected to the sound
The clock beside my bed made--and I found--
To get some rest
It would be best
To hide it under a hat;
Henceforth, I did just that.

Now--times have changed;
My hearing is deranged,
I cannot sing,
No instrument will bring--
The music I intend to send.
No lovely tune I hear,
Loud noise I have to bear
In both my ears and head
During days- and nights in bed,
Which never gives me peace.
I do not find release
From humming, strumming, banging, clanging,
Slapping, clapping, hissing, sizzling, howling, growling,
Orchestrated sounds.
There are no bounds--no limits set--
To my regret
For this destructive torture.

No one understands my pain.
My only wish is--to stay sane.
I learned to hide what bothers me,
Therefore, not a one can see
The devastating state I am in;
The horrible calamity
That frightfully engulfs me,
Keeps petrified me in my chair
In agony, and deep despair--
Not knowing what's in store for me,
Praying: "Please God, let this be
The last of these unbearable attacks.
I do not mind--if I can't hear,
Therefore, I have to bear
Cruel disrespect from all,
Just save me from the fall
Into this hellish nightmare."

My body is deprived of sleep
That's restful, long and deep.
More often than I care--
I doze off in my chair,
Don't go to bed at all,
Why bother? I don't fall
Asleep there anyway,
Night seems like day.
The discord music in my head
Never stops--Instead--
It's getting worse each day.
I wish there were a way
To end this dreadful agony.

Edeltraut L. Scheffler-Plath.


(c) 1999

Poetry for Meniere's suffers

By: Gloria S.Castor
Copyright©1997 Gloria S. Castor

When the night is dark and no one’s around
Why is my head so full of sound
As I lay down for a good nights sleep
I know this night will be a repeat
A hum, a roar and buzzing as well
To me a nightmare, a living hell
No way to stop the sounds I hear
For what I have they call “Meniere’s”
And sounds deep within my ears

I use to pray most all the time
For God to clear this head of mine
So many years have passed on by
And many days and nights I’d cry
But still the sounds lives in my head
At times you wish that you were dead
The Doctor’s give you pills to take
But most the time you lay awake
I pray to God my soul to take

Now I lay me down to sleep
But most the time I lay and weep
No one knows what it is like
Because I always look so right
I try to do the best I can
But most folks just don’t understand
Some can’t understand what they cannot see
And at times this causes pain for me
But I can’t give up, it’s my life you see

Now the early morning hours are here
And the sounds are here within my ears
But I will go and try to sleep
And pray my Lord my soul to keep
Maybe soon it will go away
Who knows? Is what the Doctor’s say
I’ll always thank the Lord above
For “He” understands and gives me love
I get my strength from up above

Only a person who lives with Meniere’s
Or Tinnitus, the pain, the fears and tears
Can really know of what I speak
And a cure for these people is what I seek.

Spring to Summer Season

During spring, my allergies has increased very badly and I end up having pink eye. So my dr got me medications to get it under control. My energy level is going great but at the same time I am unable to sleep in good reasonable time. I have been staying up anywhere from 2 to 5 am. So I am getting there. I have been getting out to do outdoor landscaping outside my house and it really keeps me going and making my own stepping stones.

Green Bay has been doing wonderful during service dog training and he really did great job. Speaking about that, I went to City Prayz concert last night and I didn't realized that he has been jumping on me and pawing me to let me know my dizziness is coming soon. So by toward the end of the concert I became so dizzy by the effects of the light simulations. I told my friend that we need to go and to take me home. So I am glad Green Bay is there for me to warned me. I had to come to decision that I am unable to go any concerts since I had the episode.

Summer is here and I noticed the heat really affect my dizziness and I tend to stay indoors. Nothing much here is new but just to deal one day at a time.